You cannot buy the top spot.
A public leaderboard of real Shopify stores, ranked by objective checks against the storefront. The only currency is effort. Fix your store, scan it again, climb. The moment somebody scores higher, they take your place.
Built by glood.ai · roastmystore.lol
No opinions. Just what is in your HTML.
Every rank on the board was computed from the storefront itself, which is why every rank change can be explained to the merchant it moved.
We read the storefront, politely
At most 13 requests, one per second, from a crawler that obeys robots.txt completely.
Deterministic checks, 100 points
No heuristics, no classifiers, no opinions, so every rank change is explainable.
Every finding shows its evidence
The literal value we found, and the exact URL we found it at.
You get a fix list, at any rank
The smallest set of fixes that would close the gap to the store above you.
Every one of these is a real check, running today.
Each film takes a single check and shows it end to end. The value we observed, the address it came from, what it costs, and the one thing that fixes it.
Nothing gets published we cannot prove.
Every finding on every store page carries the value we observed and the address we observed it at. This is one of them, in full.
0 of 8 AI crawlers may access /; blocked: GPTBot, OAI-SearchBot, ChatGPT-User, ClaudeBot, PerplexityBot, Google-Extended, Bingbot, Applebot-Extended
https://hornedandhooved.com/robots.txt
Allow AI crawlers in robots.txt so assistants can read and cite your products.
The scoring weights are published too. A ranking nobody can audit is a ranking nobody trusts.
Nobody defends a position they did not earn.
Ranking is computed at crawl time from the storefront, so there is nothing to buy and nothing to negotiate. Re-scanning without improving does not move you.
Anyone can take it.
See where you would landTake a run at the top.
You get a score, a rank against every other store scored out of the same total, and the exact list of fixes that would move you past the store above you.
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